| | Sting is no longer on best lyricists' list |
Music doesn’t have to be about the lyrics. That’s why we’ve struck off the boy bands, hair metal, Aqua and The Cheeky Girls long before we narrowed it down to 10.
In this list which is sure to draw steam from some (Doors, U2 fans, we’re talking to you), we’ve included only those that put effort into their verses. So no ‘Blue Da Ba De Ba’. Instead, we’re moving along the lines of unsanitary gems like ‘I feel your pain like Siamese twins connected by the brain’ (LL Cool J).
10. Jim Morrison
Pomposity surely is one of the pitfalls of the renowned, as demonstrated by the Lizard King at least twice in every album. While his life was just as typical as every other rockstar – unpredictable, unstable and undependable – he relied on high art for inspiration.
With shamanism and symbolism as two of his favourite topics, he created a body of work that’s very pretentious when ambiguous. And even when not ambiguous, it’s still pretty pretentious.
Claim to Shame: The days are bright and filled with pain / Enclose me in your gentle rain ('Crystal Ship').
9. Bono
When you’re pompous all the time, you’ve got to make sure your work is impeccable. Bono, with his hectic schedule and superhero delusions, often slips up. ‘All That You Can’t Leave Behind’ was the one album he was consistent. Almost, actually. Have you heard ‘Elevation’?
Claim to Shame: I and I / In the sky/You make me feel like I can fly / So high / Elevation (‘Elevation’).
8. Sting
Sting wasn’t always as bad a lyricist as he is today. The Police, whose lyrics he wrote, could even appear on Best Lyricists lists. But with no one Policing his pen and paper after he went solo, Sting got a little out of hand – so out of hand he’s started writing songs in foreign languages.
Claim to Shame: Tied up in chains you just can't see / Or a beast in a gilded cage that's all some people ever want to be / If you love somebody, set them free (‘If You Love Somebody, Set Them Free’).
7. Ozzy Osbourne
Wrinkles are indicative of wisdom, but Ozzy’s lyrics are as awfully amateurish as an eighth-grader’s science project. Ozzy may want to scare his fans with his music, but does he know how many people he scares away with his lyrics?
Claim to Shame: ‘Howling in shadows / Living in a lunar spell / He finds his heaven / Spewing from the mouth of hell’ ('Shot In The Dark').
6. Will.i.am
Will.i.am, as a solo artist, had written a song for Barrack Obama’s campaign. But when he’s writing for The Black Eyed Peas, he turns into an artist who, above all, only wants to let others know he can spell. ‘T to the A to the S-T-Y / Girl, you tasty’ and ‘W-I-double-L spells pleasure’ are our favourites, but there are others.
Claim to Shame: My Humps / My lovely lady lumps (‘My Humps’).
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